This time of year…. Christmas….

I am so speechless to all the unfortunate events happening around the world. As a child I use to believe that the Christmas season was the only time people are nice to each other. I always thought that on this festive holiday there is a moment of peace. You may call it being naïve but it gave me hope that peoples’ hearts gets softer once a year. With all the tragedy that has been occurring lately, how do you look forward to the closing Christmas season? Where is that moment of peace that I so looked forward too? I may have gotten older and less naïve but I still want to believe in the power of Christmas.

Dear Santa
I may have gotten too old for your list but my heart is as young as it could be. Please give us hope that we can look forward too. The hearts of many are so heavy at this time of year, when it used to be full of jolly and cheer. Show us a light that would make us believe again. Let our fear subside and our doubts disappear.

Still Believing
Meliza

Excuse me, I farted!

Yup the title says it all.  When is it acceptable to admit that you have passed gas in public places? 

One thing I hate the most is going in an elevator and a person is rushing out as if it is going to explode, just to realize there was a gas explosion.  Another one will be waiting on a long line and getting a drift of someone’s fart and there is nowhere to run cause you don’t want to lose your position in the line. 

Maybe it is never appropriate to admit that you have farted but shouldn’t we be considerate of others respiratory system by walking out of the line and fart somewhere else where the smell won’t bother so many and it won’t linger around that long. 

I have a co-worker that had the lap band operation.  Unfortunately when you get those procedures done besides eating only a small portion you also get massive gas.  When she walks around and releases those tiny gas bombs she always and never fails to say “Excuse me. I farted!”  So if you have a really good imagination I have that look on my face of – “Crap I just inhaled!”

Foreplay…

Though ravaging someone’s lips as if my hunger can not be suppressed, I stop myself cold. I have been away from the game for far too long but being too forward may look a little too deprived. He touched my cheek which sent a jolt of electricity through my spine. How can such small gestures make me so weak? In an attempt to lure him I slightly parted my lips and licked it moist. Foreplay is the most exciting part of this barbaric ritual but it is also excruciatingly painful. I felt his body tensing up against mine and I bravely opened my eyes. He was trying to compose himself but his eyes do not hide the overpowering emotions. Holding me tight, he covered my lips with his. The ringing in my ears would not stop. I held my hands up and… turned off the alarm. FML =(

Run for your liveeeeessssssss…..

Everybody was breathing heavily as they led us onward like a herd of cattle ready to be slaughtered. You could practically smell the anticipation, sweat, fear, and excitement in the air. Fear has taken me over. Once they open those gates, I know the zombies will make a feast out of me. I need to focus and follow the rules of zombie apocalypse. I am afraid that I will be their sampler appetizer tray as the faster people exercise rule number 1… Cardio. As the bell rang and the runners ran out of the dark passageway, I tried to catch up and a hill surfaced through the dust. Forget being appetizers for the zombies, I think I will die trying to come up this hill, no, a mountain. My fear was soon replaced with exhaustion and only minutes have passed since the race started. Strangers lend their helping hand and yelled motivational words as they pass me by. I benefited with rule number 6… travel in groups. Since my wave has passed me and I was met by the next wave of people, I was able to dodge the dead and run free while I avoided being easy prey for the zombies. I lost a flag, and threw the other flag to a passer zombie to save my life but I still have one flag. Slope, after slope of mud and I have finally reached the end of the course. The smell of beer has blinded me, turning me into a crazed lunatic as I rushed for the finish line and zoomed through the crowd to get my free beer. Then a zombie was hiding and snatched my last flag. Noooooooooooooo!!! Oh well, time for refreshments.

Bragging Rights

My eyes are in pain from staring at that bottom right side of my screen.  “3:28 PM” is the exact time which did not change after checking it for the nth time.  Why is time going by so slow?  I checked my phone and felt green with envy after reading a couple of status posts in facebook about food.  Facebook and food seems to be the trend of the posts.  What is so fascinating about the food you are going to devour to have to take an instagram picture of it and post it in facebook?  None the less, it did make me salivate.  Being diabetic sucks!  It surely takes out the joy of living your life to the fullest.

 

Do you think that facebook has definitely taken away the concept of “Bragging Rights”?  If you look through the posts besides the one about food, you will see people who brag.  But there are untold rules about bragging.  Even I know of this and they seem to be violated all over facebook.  Per the Urban Dictionary.com;

 

“Bragging rights – They are the granted rights to a person that allow said person to boast on themselves to a certain extent without being looked down on for it.  Bragging rights may be granted to a person for the following reasons:

 

• An Amazing Achievement
• Attaining something greatly desired by many people
• An unfortunate even that can be viewed as positive for different reasons.

 

However, using bragging rights after their expiration date may lead to extreme dislike of said person.”

 

There are times when we are so proud of our kids that we post their achievements.  Those posts are so heart warming to read but only to an extent.  I believe that 10 posts of the same achievement is overkill!!  We all know how it feels like to have a big number of likes for our posts but what if you really hated what they are wearing or don’t give a crap what they do every single minute of the day.  If we have the ability to like a post we should have the same ability to dislike them.  It is not cowardly to not leave a comment or two of how I really feel about a post, but let us just say, putting a dislike button will be a nicer way for me to express my feelings.  Less harsh words more peace in facebook and less game requests!

You are good at what you do.

Ever since I graduated college I always wondered how easy would it be to climb up the coorporate ladder.  Now that I work for a big coorporation, I got my answer.  Totally impossible!!!  I have been with this company for 10 years but they only consider 8 because I was a temp on the other 2.  So in the so called 8 professional years, I did have my up and downs, downs, downs….  I am not a perfect worker but I try my best.  I complete and meet my deadlines.  Working as a team and helping coworkers are my best qualities.  Flexibility and a quick learner are pluses when I am on your team.  I was always the backup girl, the go to girl and the you are good at what you do girl.  Through the years I have watched so many go past me and up the ladder.  I barely can hang on to the steps!  Dont get me wrong, I try to do everything to get that higher position.  But instead of giving me a position, they just change my title to something fancy and tell me that I am good at what I do.  True, I am a failure at one thing, selling myself.  I am the type of woker that stays loyal to a company, I have proven my loyalty but my value is diminishing.   Time to fish and look at the positive side of things.  Some where out there an employer will recognize me.  So please, let me find you, my dream company before I become worthless. =(

A hunted Sleep Center

So I went to my dreaded appointment at the sleep center.  I was 15 minutes early due to my paranoia of driving at night and suddenly getting lost.  The technician got me situated in a room and said to wait since she has to finish the procedure with another patient.  Before she left she asked if I drank any sleeping pill and I answered no one told me to do so.  She looked at me and said well I hope you could sleep. 

The tech came back in the room with a bunch of wires in different colors.  It looked like wires for the TV.  She made me sit on a chair as she attached these wires on my head, nose, finger and legs.  I was appalled on how many wires needs to be attached just to figure out that I am not breathing properly.  Isn’t me snoring a good enough sign?

 The room was hot and she turned the portable AC on which was way on the other side of the room and the air barely hit my feet.  Oh gosh how am I going to sleep now?  Well I finally found my spot and started to fall asleep.  Though I was still aware of my surrounding, I heard someone yell HEY!  I abruptly sat up and asked if the tech called me since the room is filled with camcorders and intercom.  She answered “NO!”  Totally weird, I tried to sleep again.  Then I caught myself saying “$%nt!”(A word that I would never call a girl, which has same meaning as a prostitute I think)  The tech was like “What did you say?”  I tried to explain to her that I have no idea what is going on and that in no way do I even use that word.  Convincing?  Pssshh, barely got her to understand the issue earlier.  So then again with all these unexplainable stuff happening I tried to close my eyes.  Minutes have passed and I have again caught myself saying “Come over here.”  The tech suddenly goes in the room with a really upset face.  Imagine my face of frustration!  So I decided to tell the tech, no matter what happens in the room, unless I say help me, please ignore everything else.  I have no, absolutely no, control over what I say when I am half asleep. 

Then you get the minor wire came off so tech have to come back in and reposition it.  It was a night that I needed to sleep but no luck of reaching REM.  Then when I finally doze off and the tech rushes in to wake me up, at this time I was so tired.  She says I have stopped breathing a couple of times so its time for the big oxygen mask.  I think she was still upset because she practically shoved the thing on my face.  Trust me when I say, if you needed to cough that oxygen mask made it way harder.

By this time, I was pleading to every spiritual being out there to let me sleep in peace.  But guess what started acting up, my bladder, luckily it was almost 630 so I don’t have to pretend to sleep anymore.

I was sure when I left the building the tech and the ghost are so happy to see me go!

Zombie 5K Mud Run

I have heard people say this, “I am so addicted to working out!” Why can’t I be addicted to working out like them? I always have to drag my feet as if it was chained to the couch or bed to even get ready to go to the gym. This process is just so excruciatingly painful. My mind starts racing thinking of reasons why going to the gym is not the best idea right now. But once I am in the gym I get energized and hyped up.

There is only 3 months left till my goal of participating in the Zombie Run for your Lives 5K Mud Run. I am so scared. I have been slacking off, making excuses and now I am suffering. Last year I joined the Irvine 5K Mud run and that was tough. I did enjoy myself despite the fact that I was second to the last person to finish the lap. I was hoping to change the result up a bit so I joined the Zombie Run. But time flies so fast. I signed up in May and now it is the middle of July and the Run is on October 20th. Man I wasted 3 months not training. This is bad. I really need to be addicted to working out instead of food or else I will really turn into a zombie and never see the end of the race!

I am an addict….

Let us define an addict… 

Per Dictionary .com an addict is an enthusiastic devotee of a specified thing or activity.

Per Merriam-webster.com an addict is to devote or surrender to something habitually or obsessively.

I have the worst kind of addiction and yes I am talking about food.  This is the worst because you can not live without food.  Drugs, gambling and alcohol, a person can live without these bad habits, but how do you rehabilitate yourself if you are addicted to the thing that keeps you alive. 

Bread the fluffy layers and the buttery smell, just typing these words leaves a tingly feeling on my finger tips.  Meat, that red tender juicy meat that is always paired with steam veggies, rice or potatoes  I feel my cholesterol just rising to the peak as I think of each scrumptious bite.  Then there is this thing that you can never say never just the smell of it hypnotize you and making you eat more egg and pancake and coffee.  BAAACCCOOONNN….  Who ever invented it is evil, EVIL!

The right timing for manners…

This morning I went to go get breakfast and my bro-in-law told me of the Paleo diet which mainly eat protein and no carbs, sugar, beans etc….  It is also a diet where you do not have to count calories or limiting the protein that you are eating.   So I ordered a scrambled egg, bacon, one sausage and one hot link, big breakfast, but was planning to have fruits for lunch.  Well there was this girl before me that ordered one sunny side up egg and she laughed at my order when she heard it.  I looked at her and she says to me, wow really, that is a big breakfast and started laughing while saying other things to the person next to her.  Normally being overweight for a long time I should get used to these types of reactions but somehow that girl is a bitch.  I smiled and left the counter with my food and paid.  There are times when I think some people’s decisions about things are ridiculous but I would never comment about it out loud.  I would think it in my head but still have the control not to say anything cause I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  Why can’t she do that? Really?

Another thing happened to me today.  Our company have pretty good size of elevators but we also have a number of pretty good size people, including me.  I was the first one in the elevator then a pretty hefty man came in with 2 regular size people.  When we reached the lobby the man who was right smack in the middle of the elevator let the other two people go out first then he looks at me to go out next.  I know that he was thinking ladies first since we were all ladies and him being the only man but he is right in the middle, he was on the way.  For me to successfully exit the elevator I have to swoosh to the side, then walk forward and swoosh to the other side to the door.  I respect that he is doing this out of manners but it would have been better if he just left the elevator first so it would be easier for me to exit.  I tell you manners in the wrong timing!