Excuse me, I farted!

Yup the title says it all.  When is it acceptable to admit that you have passed gas in public places? 

One thing I hate the most is going in an elevator and a person is rushing out as if it is going to explode, just to realize there was a gas explosion.  Another one will be waiting on a long line and getting a drift of someone’s fart and there is nowhere to run cause you don’t want to lose your position in the line. 

Maybe it is never appropriate to admit that you have farted but shouldn’t we be considerate of others respiratory system by walking out of the line and fart somewhere else where the smell won’t bother so many and it won’t linger around that long. 

I have a co-worker that had the lap band operation.  Unfortunately when you get those procedures done besides eating only a small portion you also get massive gas.  When she walks around and releases those tiny gas bombs she always and never fails to say “Excuse me. I farted!”  So if you have a really good imagination I have that look on my face of – “Crap I just inhaled!”

The right timing for manners…

This morning I went to go get breakfast and my bro-in-law told me of the Paleo diet which mainly eat protein and no carbs, sugar, beans etc….  It is also a diet where you do not have to count calories or limiting the protein that you are eating.   So I ordered a scrambled egg, bacon, one sausage and one hot link, big breakfast, but was planning to have fruits for lunch.  Well there was this girl before me that ordered one sunny side up egg and she laughed at my order when she heard it.  I looked at her and she says to me, wow really, that is a big breakfast and started laughing while saying other things to the person next to her.  Normally being overweight for a long time I should get used to these types of reactions but somehow that girl is a bitch.  I smiled and left the counter with my food and paid.  There are times when I think some people’s decisions about things are ridiculous but I would never comment about it out loud.  I would think it in my head but still have the control not to say anything cause I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  Why can’t she do that? Really?

Another thing happened to me today.  Our company have pretty good size of elevators but we also have a number of pretty good size people, including me.  I was the first one in the elevator then a pretty hefty man came in with 2 regular size people.  When we reached the lobby the man who was right smack in the middle of the elevator let the other two people go out first then he looks at me to go out next.  I know that he was thinking ladies first since we were all ladies and him being the only man but he is right in the middle, he was on the way.  For me to successfully exit the elevator I have to swoosh to the side, then walk forward and swoosh to the other side to the door.  I respect that he is doing this out of manners but it would have been better if he just left the elevator first so it would be easier for me to exit.  I tell you manners in the wrong timing!